Saturday, October 8, 2016

Hard Knocks

Is the world against you? Does nobody love you? Gee, that's too bad.

1. Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you. The truth is, that person you're trying to contact isn’t too busy to answer your call, email, or text. If you’re not hearing back, it’s because they have deliberately chosen not to answer. And the sooner you stop making excuses for the people who don’t make you a priority, the sooner you can move on to the people and situations that do.

2. Everyone has their own best interests at heart. No matter how genuine, kindhearted or caring a particular person might be, they’re always going to be more aware of their own needs than they are of yours. Come on, wake up, what do you expect? Even the most attentive lover may not realize they’re pushing your buttons if you never tell them. Even the most honest employer may not be aware they’re working you into the ground if you just keep accepting more work.

However, they will be aware that they’re stretching your limits, but nonetheless continue to push until they encounter resistance. Your resistance. Most people take as much from you as you let them get away with – which means it’s up to you to define and uphold your own boundaries.

3. You are never going to please everybody. Why would you want to? Because your mommy made you that way? If you actually listened to what every single person wanted from you, you’d end up a lifeless, shapeless, emotionless blob. And then someone would come along and tell you to be more interesting.

Listen up because it’s impossible to please everybody. There will always be someone who is offended by the most traditional life path or bored by the most radical one. You’re going to be criticized no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you love. Because if there’s anyone whose judgment you should listen to, it’s your own.

4. The world owes you nothing. Did you ever see that Clint Eastwood western where William Muny shoots the sheriff? See below.

You may be the coolest, kindest, smartest, most interesting person in the world, but if you’re not putting any of those traits to work for yourself, you’re entitled to absolutely nothing in exchange for possessing them.

You can spend your entire life feeling sorry for yourself because you deserve more than you’re getting, or you can go out into the world and actually claim what’s yours.

5. The prize for arguing on behalf of your restrictions is getting to keep them. You can spend your entire life declaring to others that you don’t have the time, money, energy or resources to accomplish the things you actually want. And all of what you claim may be true – but the harsh truth is, every single person on the planet has at least one damn good excuse for not pursuing the life they want.

The difference between the people who get what they want out of life and those who don’t is that the people who get what they want ignore their excuses. They find a way around their limitations, instead of just bitching about them, and that is the very reason they succeed.

6. It is not your thoughts that define you but your actions. You can sit around all day conceptualizing a better world, but until you get out there and start implementing change, you’re not actually making a difference. Good intention is a wonderful thing but unless it’s coupled with action, it counts for nothing. At the end of the day, your character is determined by what you do, not by what you think about.

7. Nobody is coming to save you except maybe Jesus and that's a whole other topic you should explore. Anyway, we all want to believe that the person of our dreams, the job opportunity of a lifetime or the surprise that we never expected is waiting around the corner for us. When we’re unhappy with where we are, we irrationally hope that a drastic change in circumstance will come along and save us from our misery.

Nope, in my experience, life doesn’t work that way. Nobody’s heading your way on a white horse and if you want to see change in your life, you have to create it from the ground up.

There are plenty of people out there who are going to get in the way of what you should be doing. These people will be bosses and teachers and preachers and yes, even your own family. They'll tell you to chase your dreams and then turn around and tell you to stay with whatever miserable, soul-sucking job that gives you a false sense of financial security. I mean, if money is all you have, you're pretty fucking poor in my book.

So, declare yourself the king or queen of your world, respect others, focus, and make something that will last.

By the way, on a related topic, ADD stands for Another Day Distracted.

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