Saturday, July 2, 2016

Change That Will Make A Difference

In English, the days of the week are named after the Saxon gods except for Saturday, which is named after the Roman god of agriculture. Sunday is named after the sun, Monday after the moon, Tuesday after Tiw (Týr, a Norse god - Tiw is the Old English spelling.), Wednesday after Woden (Norse Odin), Thursday after Thor (Another Norse god), Friday after Frige (a goddess found in Anglo-Saxon paganism), and Saturday after Saturn (the god, not the car).

Why is no one offended about this? For one thing, some of these words came from religious references. What is even worse is that these words (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc.) came from a culture of white Nordic people who were not properly integrated.

I would like to propose, nay, demand that the words we use for the days of the week be changed to something less racially charged, something we can all live with. To that end, I suggest the following words be substituted for the offending words:

Sunday -- Seconddayoffday
Monday -- Firstworkday
Tuesday -- Secondworkday
Wednesday -- Middleday
Thursday -- Ladiesnightday
Friday --- TGIFday
Saturday -- Firstdayoffday

Or, we could simply use numbers, such as Dayone, Daytwo, etc. While we're at it, we should change the reference to the first day of the week from Saturday or Sunday to Monday. It just makes sense.

The UN should look into these matters. Additionally, since we have Daylight Savings Time, why not a Midnight Hour Adder? That is, if you find yourself staying up too late, you can automatically add an hour to the clock to insure people can get some rest before, you know, the alarm goes off.

To those of you who think these are stupid ideas, shut up. I'm so tired of being offended by the days of the week. It's time to make a change.

On a related note, I was gratified to hear that a racist 9 year old boy at a New Jersey elementary school had the police called on him for referring to chocolate treats as "brownies". Can you believe it? The little racist thought he was going to get away with using that racist language. Sounds like the punk bit off more than he could chew. Get it? Anyway, these racists must be stopped and disarmed before they can offend again.

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